IT'S HERE

My doorbell just rang. It never rings. I knew in an instant what it was.

As I walked from the kitchen to the front room I saw the FedEx truck in my driveway.

That poor innocent FedEx girl. She didn't know what she was getting into.

I opened the door with a squeal, and said "OMG that's my LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER book from Snapfish"

She couldn't hand it to me fast enough.

It's HERE! The book is here. My heart is full!

And, the book is beautiful. It's the perfect combination of all of us. It's like having a piece of every single person that was a part of the Listen To Your Mother shows.

I will NEVER be able to explain what I got from LTYM. Sometimes words aren't enough. Sometimes feelings can't be labeled. Sometimes gifts and blessings can't be counted.

Listen To Your Mother gave me, at the very least, my voice back. This book will be a daily reminder.

I came, I saw, I wrote, I spoke. We cried.

Thank you will never be enough, but, THANK YOU Ann Imig, Lela Davidson, Stephanie Funk McCratic, and Snapfish!

Homesick At Home. What It's Like To Be New In Town 4 Years Later

I'm beginning to wonder if this state will ever feel like home.

The beauty of the Natural State does a good job of filling the void for awhile but, at some point it should start to feel like you're home; right?

I feel like I've moved in but, maybe a piece of me is still across the state line waiting.

I find myself wishing I had the relationships I had there, over here. I miss my friends. I miss having girlfriends. I miss the bond and the inside jokes that date all the way back to grade school.

I miss knowing if I call, the phone will be answered or the missed call returned. I miss conversations via text with so many LOLs it starts to look like nonsense . I miss riding around in the car singing at the top of my lungs. I miss laughing so much my stomach and my face hurt.

Don't get me wrong, I have met some wonderful people here. D introduced me to his circle of friends and they were very welcoming and kind. This is their home already though. They have their friends, their girlfriends, their inside jokes, and their bonds established.

When I was home, I had a place in my community. I knew where I stood with people. I had professional relationships, and I had paid my dues.

Here it seems like I just can't get through the door. I try. I honestly try more than anyone would ever know. Will it ever be enough, or what "they" want? Who knows.

I volunteer. I love it. I jump at any given opportunity to do it. I could say I do it only for the good of doing it but, that wouldn't be completely honest. Although I do, do it just for that, I'd be lying if I didn't say I thought community service would open some doors for relationships, personal and professional.

I'm four years into the move. My kids are happy and healthy, and building relationships of their own. I'm happy for them.

Moving back isn't really an option because they deserve the time to establish the very bonds I am missing.

It's a bit embarrassing to admit I'm lonely.

I have a great guy who loves me so unconditionally, beautiful children that make me beem with pride, but I don't have the huge piece of me that comes from being home.

How do I make this home?

What else do I need to do?

How do you become part of a group or even make new friends?

As an adult it seems so stupid to cry at night because you're homesick.

It's not sleep-away-camp, it's life. It's the life I willingly chose, and a life I love with my family. But, it's still hard. It's still lonely. It's still scary.

Everyone deserves to feel like a part of something outside of their family. So here I am world, ready and waiting to feel like I'm home again.